The Thoughts of a Woman Struggling to Get Pregnant

Who’s baby is this? I wonder if they’ll mind if I smell its’ face.

Maybe I should do handstands after we have sex.

Is this ovulation stick positive or just pretending to be?

I wonder if I’m deficient in some important vitamin. (orders all the supplements)

OK that’s it, I’m throwing away all my beauty products. ONLY non endocrine affecting products now!

OMG she’s having a baby! That’s amazing! I’m so excited for her.

It’s been 8 days since ovulation, I should do a pregnancy test right now.

It's negative. I'll test in a few hours.

It’s not meant to be this month. Probably next month!

Well, apparently ovulation sticks don't work as well as checking my... my ummm... stuff in my underwear.

(obsessively tracks temperature) Is this high enough? Did I take it at the right time? That doesn’t seem right. Ugh, drop in temp means I’m out. Oh wait, maybe I didn’t do it right. Why is it so low?

Really? The Keto diet got two of your friends pregnant? I mean I guess I’ll give it a go.

Really? Energy healing? You’re saying my unborn baby does feel like it’s safe to be born yet? Ok…

What if I can’t do this? No, don’t even go there.

Should I buy this progesterone on Amazon? Seems like it worked for all these reviewers.

I bet we get pregnant this month! Then the baby and I will have the same birthday!

(Reads about more supplements and orders them all + 19 tubes of preseed)

Acupuncture. Apparently it’s like, a for sure thing.

Are my husbands pants too tight? He better not be cooking those balls.

Actually it's meant to be THIS month because the moon is full, we timed it perfectly and my fortune cookie said, "A surprise awaits!"

Oh no, I’m not pregnant. I just don’t feel like drinking.

I'm gonna try reverse cowgirl! Heard that one really shoots the little guys up there!

She’s pregnant AGAIN!? WOW. So cool. (also super jealous)

And SHE'S pregnant? Were they even trying? They weren't??? (jealouuuus)

So you’re saying to get a sonohystogram and the contrast from the test will clear my tubes? Hmmm I’ll try it.

But what if it never happens? Will I be ok? Will my husband hate me?

You know what? Maybe we’re trying too hard. Maybe everyone is right. I’ll just not try for a couple months (proceeds try to not try and finds it’s impossible to not try when all you wanna do is try)

It’s going to happen when the time is right.

Everyone keeps telling me that it will happen and not to worry. I’m worried.

I want it so bad. At least I know I’m going to be the best mom ever and love the shit out of this kid.

My husband and I have been trying to have a child for a couple of years. We had one miscarriage in the beginning and haven't been able to get pregnant again since. It's been a difficult journey so far, but I've found so much solace knowing I'm not alone. If you've struggled with infertility, please add your thoughts in the comments.